Your essay will be the representation of an argument on a given subject or subjects. It will include only points which are relevant to the subject, so be careful to get rid of material that is not directly relevant. Although students sometimes complain that the lengths demanded of essays are too long, most of the essays you will write are really relatively short. Part of the skill of writing is to write concisely and economically, without wasting material or 'padding' the work with irrelevant diversions and repetition. Once the points have been chosen they should be presented logically and coherently, so do not leap about from point to point. Each point generally will have some connection to the preceding one and the one which follows. If you do leave one part of the essay to move onto another, but intend later to go back to the point you have left and show, for example, how the points may be connected or related, then it can be useful to say so by 'signposting', e.g. '. After each draft of the essay check that each point is presented in a logical and coherent order. Read each draft carefully and critically. Is there a significant idea you have not included in the essay? Do you need to expand some of the points you have chosen to write about? Are some of the points, after due consideration, not really relevant? Have you been too long-winded or repetitive? If so, cut out and/or reduce some of the text. Does your argument need to be clearer, and do the links between some of the main points need more emphasis? You should be asking yourself these questions throughout the whole process.
Strong sentences are essential in terms of the flow of your essay. When signalling the fact that they now want to begin a discussion about the imagery of the text in question, students often begin paragraphs with a sentence such as the following: Whilst this would be fine in a first draft for more refined essay writing there are much better alternatives and methods. What is wrong with this particular sentence? To start with there is no real need to introduce the subject so mechanically: as you are writing about literature it will come as no great surprise to the reader that imagery is to be discussed at some point. Secondly, as the student has chosen to write about the imagery there is no need to state that it is important. If it was not important then the student should not have chosen to write about it. (Please note that there would be no objection to a sentence such as 'I will now go on to discuss the imagery, which is fundamental to a full understanding of the story', although it would be even better if the type of imagery was identified. This says something different. Do not repeat these phrases mechanically in your essays - the imagery will not always be absolutely key to understanding the story. Use your common sense.)
One further point, by way of providing another model. The analysis in the second paragraph could lead in the following direction. '' deals with, obviously, destruction, whilst the book of Genesis deals with creation. The vocabulary is similar: Blackie notices that 'chaos had advanced', an ironic reversal of God's imposing of form on a void. Furthermore, the phrase 'streaks of light came in through the closed shutters where they worked with the seriousness of creators', used in the context of destruction, also parodies the creation of light and darkness in the early passages of the Biblical book. Greene's ironic use of the vocabulary of the Bible might be making the point that, for him, the Second World War signalled the end of a particular Christian era. Now, it is perfectly arguable that the rise of fascism is linked to this, or that it is the cause. The cult of personality and secular leadership has, for Greene, taken over from the key role of the church in Western societies. In this way the two main themes identified above - the tension between individual and community, and religion - are linked. In terms of essay writing this link could well be made after the discussion of the theme of the individual and the community, and its links with the theme of leadership. This might be the general conclusion to the essay. After thoughtful consideration and interpretation a student may well decide that this is what '' boils down to: Greene is making a clear link between the rise of fascism and the decline of the Church's influence. Despite the fact that fascism has been recently defeated, Greene sees the lack of any contemporary values which could provide social cohesion as providing the potential for its reappearance. However, whilst this is the conclusion the student has come to, this should not be mentioned for the first time in the conclusion / concluding paragraph. This is the climax to the essay, but the concluding paragraph should generally be a brief paraphrase or summary of the essay. This also adheres to the generally held view that the conclusion should not introduce new ideas.
(1) In the first sentence there is a lack of detail and also inappropriate emphasis. First of all, no apple has been mentioned before in the essay and its introduction here is a little confusing. This is because in the story the apple is not compared to a house, but it is the house which is compared to an apple. Furthermore there is no evidence provided for the assertion that the house can be linked to a church. In addition, the 'perhaps' does not inspire confidence that the student is fully on top of the idea. (2) There are several problems with the second sentence. Most importantly there is no clear connection with the preceding and succeeding sentence. Also, the 'actually' is too informal and, equally importantly, it suggests that the idea to come has just popped into the student's mind. The first 'it' is ambiguous, and it is not exactly clear what it refers to. Finally, the overall idea - that weaknesses within the church make it vulnerable to attacks from the outside - is not very clearly expressed. (3) There is no problem with the third sentence, and a question can be a good way of introducing or emphasising a particular subject. The problem with this paragraph lies in the other sentences. (4) The fourth sentence does not really address the question just asked in any coherent way. 'The destruction of everything' is too sweeping and needs more detail. The phrase 'it refers to Adam and the temptation' is a poor one - it should be 'it refers to the tempting of Adam'. The main problem with this sentence is that it has become detached from the first sentence of the paragraph, and one of the problems of the paragraph is that the theme of temptation is referred to and hinted at without ever being fully interpreted and analysed. (5) The fifth sentence is far too vague and empty, and introduces a subject - Adam's happiness - which is not picked up on. Where in the story could the religious references suggest that this is a significant point? Why happiness? (6) The sixth sentence contains some of the problems of some of the other sentences. The writer shifts the emphasis from Adams's temptation - which has not been analysed - to Trevor's temptation, without explanation. There is some dislocation in that whilst there was an earlier suggestion or hint (again unclearly expressed) that the church was destroying itself, now there is a suggestion that Trevor is solely responsible for the destruction of the church, in the symbolic form of the house. Furthermore, there is a weakness in the comparison in that Trevor's destruction of the house is in no way punished.
How to Write Essays: A Practical Guide for Students: John Clanchy.
Essay writing involves presenting an argument and communicating The comments are based on years of experience of reading student essays, good, bad, John Clanchy and Brigid Ballard, How to Write Essays (Melbourne: Longman�.