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Beauty is all around us - Hattifant

I am pretty butch, to say the least. My daughter is the queen of foofie. We just sort of exist around the other’s drag. My mom, almost a Mrs. Cleaver, broke me up when my daughter was about 5 and totally into the Disney princesses. My daughter found a picture of my mom when my mom was about 20. The kid said, “Wow, grandma, you used to be beautiful.” With no pause my mom said, “But I am always smart. Brains are better than beauty – brains last.”

I don’t think that noticing, commenting or having beauty is offensive or condescending in and of itself. If I understand correctly, the main problem you seem to be addressing is that most of the beauty that exists today in America is unnatural, unsustainable and causes feelings of inferiority and ugliness when one can’t keep up with it.
I love the conversation you had with that little girl but it should still be okay to fluff her dress and spin around all the while telling her how cute she is. My mother always told us we were beautiful and she meant it, even when we suffered from extreme fashion and beauty faux pas.
Nice piece.

English Essays: Sidney to Macaulay

Women's Body Image and BMI: 100 Years in the US

beauty is all around us

Our girls are bombarded daily by the media, especially magazine covers in checkout lanes, reinforcing the message that women who aren’t thin, tall, or beautiful don’t matter. Turning that around can be very difficult, especially in the middle school years when girls often become more body-conscious due to puberty changes. I would love to see more programs in the schools and youth groups in the late elementary years to address this…..here in the south many girls are often worried about being attractive by 3rd and 4th grade. Unfortunately a negative body-image theme often creates much larger self-esteem problems in the upper grades, and again when dating begins.

I don’t think that noticing, commenting or having beauty is offensive or condescending in and of itself. If I understand correctly, the main problem you seem to be addressing is that most of the beauty that exists today in America is unnatural, unsustainable and causes feelings of inferiority and ugliness when one can’t keep up with it.
I feel that in Israel, where I live, there are so many types of beauty both natural and tweaked that a woman can really feel comfortable dressing and primping herself as she sees fit without negating her overall worth as a person.
I love the conversation you had with that little girl but it should still be okay to fluff her dress and spin around all the while telling her how cute she is. My mother always told us we were beautiful and she meant it, even when we suffered from extreme fashion and beauty faux pas.
Nice piece.

The Beauty and Purpose of Mormon Temples

A few thoughts–I appreciate the message of this essay. However, as now-grown child who was never once told she was pretty by her mother (a small flaw among a million blessings), I take every opportunity to tell my daughters how beautiful they are. I wasn’t told I was pretty – although I was – because it wasn’t valued in my family, and I still suffered every last body image pitfall you list above. I think telling girls they are lovely predates the current pop culture fixation on image. That’s not to say that we don’t have a lot of work to do in making our daughters and other young girls build self-esteem, because of course, we do.

BET - Celebrities, Music, News, Fashion, Entertainment, …

“My skin is a shade darker than caramel, with a speckle of chicken pox scars that I tried to pass off as freckles in middle school. Spending summers in the South growing up, I was always aware of colorism in the black community, but it wasn’t really until I attended an all-white middle school that I encountered it. I remember riding the bus and one of my classmates was turned around in her seat staring at me. I asked why. She wanted to know what I was mixed with. She had never seen such a pretty black girl, so she assumed I must be mixed with something. At the time, I was too offended to answer. But since then, I have been asked what I’m mixed with too many times to count, and each time I am met with skepticism when I reply that I am black. I continue by informing the misinformed — the African diaspora comes in many hues; all of them are beautiful.”

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41 Women of Color Get REAL About Beauty and Diversity

Many others who met her made similar comments, including Lucy Clifford, a novelist, who said that Eliot did, indeed, look like a horse—“a strange variety of horse that was full of knowledge, and beauty of thought, and mysteries of which the human being had no conception.” Eliot was possessed of a radiant, luminous intelligence that outshone her perceived deficits—that rendered irrelevant the small-minded criticisms of her character and visage to which she was subject for much of her life.George Eliot knew she wasn’t good-looking—as a young woman she made painful, unfunny jokes about her appearance in letters to friends—but she also knew she had bigger things to spend her time on, including the loving commitments that she made to men of whom everyone around her disapproved.

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